What are your thoughts? What compels you to spend time on social media, and to read blog posts? What’s your shtick? Where are your people?
For a number of years I’ve been wondering where my people are. One afternoon, when I was leaving a meeting with my spiritual counselor, I mentioned this. He said, probably in jest, he’d love to know where his people were too. His comment amused me. I assumed, because of his profession, he was surrounded by “his people.” If he couldn’t find his, how would I locate mine?
Recently I was chatting with a long time friend, who moved to North Carolina from So. Cal. She’s adjusting to the cultural, meaning it’s slower paced, and conservative. When I told her I wish I could find my people, she burst into laughter, and said she’d love to find her’s too. Again, this reaction surprised me. At least two friends who can’t find their people.
When we hung up, I jumped head first into pondering who “my people” would be. It makes me anxious to think I can’t describe them.
While meditating the other day I stumbled onto one possible clue . They would have to be kindred spirits. That’s obviously a pretty broad definition. It implies people who are like me, which seems a bit egotistical. Am I not a broad-minded person, flexible, and interested in diverse ways of being? I know lots of people; rich, homeless, atheists, devoted believers, well educated, high school drop outs, aggressive folks, laid back gypsy types, and creatives vs. not. Only a few who I might consider “my people.”
Some friend date back to my early thirties, after my divorce. We were young, worked, partied, moved around a lot, and went shopping. Life was uncomplicated. Gradually they hooked up, got married, had a kid, worked harder, bought their first home; not necessarily in the same neighborhood. That was the beginning of the disconnect between us. We spent time together, but often when hubby went to a game, or mom needed some time with the girls. It wasn’t the same. Some of the marriages started falling apart, and mothers became the primary parent, dropping the kids off here and there. One of my best friends often told me “you wouldn’t understand Shar, life is just different when you have kids.”
My social scene changed. I met new people at various jobs, new apartment complexes, and clubbing. There were boyfriends, some long term, some not. All those years of people coming and going, with a few hanging in for the long term.
My peers are getting older. A few are financially stable and they have the freedom of choice, others are dealing with health issues that limit their lives. Some wonder how they’re going to support themselves for the next how many years. Is the place they are living going to be the last, is their car going to hang in there, how long will they be to able to live alone? The one common denominator among us is the desire to get rid of stuff. Do these similarities make us kindred spirits, or do we just have some common life circumstances?
The answer isn’t easy, but I think kindred spirits are those people you love to share thoughts and feelings with, and who enjoy similar activities. These are the bits and pieces that make me gravitate to one person, or another. I call a friend that likes to go to the movies, another to discuss a book, and someone else to join me for a drive to the beach. This gives credence to “kin for a day”, but do I think of them as “my people?”
How do you go about finding your people? How important is it for you to be able to identify them?
Your thoughts will broaden mine……..please share them by leaving a comment below.
I look forward to hearing from you!
Now, please check out some of my other stories. Maybe you and I will become kindred spirits?
© Shari Adams
About the author shari2845